‘Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself!’ Leo Tolstoy

A recent public opinion poll from the American Psychiatrist Association reported that citizens were anxious about their safety, their health, their finances, their relationships, their politics and their livelihoods. We are a nation of reactors rather than reflectors. When we feel anxious or problematic, we try to calm and change everyone else first. Long term change never happens on a therapists couch nor a doctors surgery, it always happens when we are willing to do the work on being our own authentic self plus working on the relationship with the self.

We function at such a fast pace and are constantly doing and living in a state of distraction and survival. We are living through one of the most profound periods of transformation in our time: Pluto’s 21-year journey through Aquarius, an era when everything we thought we knew is being reimagined and renewed. A moment when the old world dissolves and a new one becomes possible. But I’ve also seen what happens when people step into such powerful times unprepared. The uncertainty can paralyze us. The vastness can overwhelm us.

Societal beliefs told us who we should be, they told us what was possible and they told us how far we could go. But what if you took a step back built a solid foundation and firstly asked: ‘Is this true?’

Learn to observe yourself. Evaluate your behaviour and start to interrupt your automatic 95% subconscious which is keeping you trapped in the same story. In order to change there must be a level of discomfort. When you build a more heart centred coherent life, you will spend less time seeking other peoples approval and have more energy to aspire to your goals, dream and legacy. Some will argue that focusing on yourself whilst the world is in turmoil is selfish. But the truth is that , there is not enough self in how we respond when face challenges. the calmest people will emerge as the change makers in the world, because they understand that in the anxious equation of todays madness, we are the only variable we can manipulate. When you start to focus on your part in a relationship or problem, a funny thing will happen, you will start to focus on the one thing you can handle and that is yourself

We need grounding. We need wisdom. We need each other.

Can you distinguish your thoughts and feeling from others thoughts and feelings driven by their belief systems?

Reacting (feelings) can look like:

  • Answering emergency emails at 10pm (I’ve done that too many times)
  • Not taking chances for fear of rejection
  • Setting impossible deadlines
  • Being overly accommodating to other people
  • taking on responsibilities of no interest or value
  • Checking social media to see if people like your post

Responding (thinking) will look like this:

  • Sharing your thinking without focusing on the reaction
  • Seeing rejection as manageable and inevitable
  • Setting realistic deadlines
  • Saying no to tasks not in line with your values and interests
  • Refraining from managing others peoples behaviours or emotions

Bibliography

Alberto Vivaldo media

Paul Chek media

‘Everything isn’t terrible’ – Kathleen Smith